I consider my self the Anti- Ponce de Leon. Not that I am looking for a fountain of oldness, I just think my life would be easier if I looked my age. I don’t want to look “older” I just want to not shock people when they learn I am NOT 12…makes things hard when you work with kids and people keep thinking you’re one of them.
Today I had a random, and cute set of comments from my Kindergarten class.
Out of the blue one little girl raises her hand:
Girl: Miss C, Miss C!
Me: Yes?
Girl: Mrs. (insert classroom teacher here) says you’re gonna get married!
Me: She did, did she? (*thinking* huh?? Does she know when? I’d like a date…oh and a name. Is she a member of Psychic friends?)
Boy: Nuh uh!
Girl: Ah huh!
Boy: Big people get married, she’s not getting married, she’s not a big person yet! you have to be all grownup!
Okay even 6 year olds think that I’m 12, though I know for a fact I am the same age as some of their mothers. I suppose I could sit under a tanning machine and kill my skin, but then I’d just look like a red faced 12 year old with peeling.
While meandering online you can find lots of HOW TO LOOK OLDER advice articles, some of which are actually helpful, and some of them…are just a riot.
Take for an example this “site” (ahhh wiki’s, you are amusing)
http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Older-Than-You-Really-Are
which gives a boat load of…uh advice like:
-First of all, you’re going to need to look taller, so a pair of high-heels is a must. If you don’t like high heels, go with wedge heels, unless you’re really short. (I guess really short people have no chance at looking older, lucky for me I’m 7 feet tall…ah hem)
-Let your hair fall down in front of your face at the sides, so they can’t see your eyes very well. (So I can walk into walls? Messy looking and klutzy equals older?)
-Wear big hoop earrings. Even clips will do. Wear dark, tight jeans. (Classy!)
-Wear bug eye sunglasses like Mary Kate and Ashley. (Can I even comment on this? Do I really need to…)
And my favorite:
-don’t be mistaken as a hooker!
I also like where it tells me I need money and a cell phone to look older, because my 4th and 5th graders have cell phones. I guess I should steer clear of any advice articles written by 14 year olds.